Saturday, October 14, 2006

but the second mouse didn't die...

...i only thought that it had (or that it was on its way out) when i sent that text message to my brother and sister yesterday. the story goes like this:

i woke up later than i wanted to on friday morning. i had to be at work by 9:00 to help out with pre-trial conferences at the courthouse. so, i'm in a bit of a rush, not really paying attention to details. when i get up, generally the first thing i do is take a shower, and i don't put in my contacts until after i've gotten out of the shower. and, although my sister and brother have been blessed with our mother's genes when it comes to eyesight, i have been stuck with our father's, and i'm blind as a bat without my spectacles or contacts.

so, i take my shower, put in my contacts, am in the process of getting ready for my day. and then i remember the little mouse-y screams that haunted my night, so i go in search of the corpse that milo and kenobi have surely left somewhere for me. and sure enough, i find it...on my couch. there it is! good morning to emily! dead mouse on the couch! so i scoop him up in a coffee filter and dispose of his remains as respectfully as possible, given that i'm running late. then i go back in the bathroom to brush my teeth, and out of the corner of my eye i see something small and dark in the shower. and it's moving!

yep -- it was mouse number two! he was soaking wet, shivering, and in the shower. which means that he was probably in the shower WITH ME, probably hiding in the corner, and i was just too blind to see him! so i do what any rational human being who just saw a mouse while in the middle of her bathroom brushing her teeth would do -- i froze. then once i had unclenched my fingers and toes, i became incredibly sad. because this little guy had clearly been terrorized by the cats all night, and then i half-drowned him in the shower. i am an asshole!

and then, i was faced with a dilemma of ethical proportions.

see, this little mousey didn't look so good. i have no problem with my cats killing mice. that form of mouse-demise seems completely consistent with nature. yet, what do i do with a mouse that isn't dead, but has been left for dead by my cats? do i allow him to continue to suffer? or do i commit a mercy killing to put him out of his misery?

ooooooohhh... killing! kill a tiny, cute, shivering mouse? is this the "right" thing to do? erm...

so, here's what i did... i chickened out. i finished brushing my teeth and i left for work. and i felt like an awful person because i chose not to act. but i couldn't imagine actually being an agent of death! even for a mouse! i mean, what the hell?!

okay, cut to me getting home from a long day at work... i'm on the phone with a friend of mine, sitting on my bed, and all of a sudden, what do i see happening on my bedroom floor?! it's the little mouse! he's walking kinda unsteadily, but he's dried off now. and milo and kenobi are standing on either side of him, watching him. they're not messing with him, other than being a couple of intimidating bullies. they're just watching him. and he looks terrified, the poor little guy!

now, at this point, i HAVE to act. i must! i can't leave him to spend the rest of his days frozen in terror on my bedroom floor. so i grabbed an empty shoebox from under my dresser and cornered him so he'd have to go in the box. now i had tiny-mouse-in-a-box. and then i ran upstairs to michael and steph's apartment to get their advice on what to do next.

"put him outside!" they said! "will you guys come with me?" i said. "okay," they said. so the three of us grabbed a flashlight and traipsed outside with the mouse-in-a-box and went out to the alleyway behind the house and set him free. free! free from the house, free from the cats. i asked him kindly not to visit me again, but to find happiness in nature, where he belongs.

and then, coming back through the backyard we see my landlord, who asks what we're doing, and i say that i caught a mouse and had to let him go, and he says, "and it took all three of you?" and i say, "look, i was scared and i needed the support, okay?" and then we made jokes about me for a while. and i made sad faces.

but at least i didn't have to kill that damn mouse.

and that's the story.

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